Critiquer: Kimberly Chase
I’d add a quick personal note here that specifies why you’re contacting this particular agent.
Music terrorizes fifteen-year-old Delphine Lockhart and she doesn’t know why. It tortures her with whispered melodies and burns her with hidden cadence; if she tries to sing, the searing taste of metal chokes her.(<-LOVE THIS!) And yet, something within her still yearns for music. When she’s abandoned by her mother and moves in with estranged relatives, Delphine finally learns why: she’s inherited a gift – a dangerous gift that comes with enemies who would kill her for it. (I’d clarify this a bit because I’m a little confused. What exactly is her gift? A beautiful voice? And why does it mean she has enemies?)
Delphine collects the scattered pieces of herself in the caves (<-literally?) of her own small-town Bethel, Missouri. She must overcome years of silence to find the voice inside her, trust herself enough to use it and then learn to protect it. All while hiding things from her best friend and falling for a guy with secrets of his own. If she denies her birthright, the music she’s only begun to discover could be lost to her forever. <-Good! If she fails to protect it, she could lose absolutely everything. (Clarify “everything.” That will raise the stakes. Her boyfriend? Her life?)
SILVER TONGUED, complete at 67,000 words, is a young adult paranormal novel that will appeal to fans of
the magic and romance found in Maggie Stiefvater’s Shiver Trilogy and to readers who enjoyed the mystical tale of loss and self-discovery found in Alice Hoffman’s Green Angel. May I send you a partial excerpt or the full manuscript?
Thank you very much for your time and consideration.
Thanks for sharing this with me! Sounds like an excellent story!
If you have any thoughts or questions, the comments are open, but please keep it constructive. No douchebaggery allowed.